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Courage, emotions, empathy, growth, happiness, Healing, life, love, mental health, openness, personal growth, resilience, softness, strength, Truth, vulnerability, writing
People talk a lot about being strong. Pushing through. Holding it together. Standing tall even when everything around you feels like it’s falling apart. And yes, I’ve had to be strong more times than I can count. Life doesn’t give you many options at times.
But somewhere along the way, I think people forget that strength doesn’t cancel out softness. You can be both. You should be both.
I used to think that being strong meant being unshakable. Stoic. Quiet. The person who doesn’t cry, doesn’t break, doesn’t ask for help. I learned that from my mother, from the world, from experiences where emotion felt like a liability. If you let people see the soft parts, they took advantage. At least, that’s what I internalized.
But the older I get, the more I realize that softness is its own kind of strength. Letting yourself feel the love, hurt, hope, disappointment, joy (and feel it deeply) is not weakness. It takes courage to stay open in a world that teaches you to shut down. I feel like takes bravery to say, “This is me, and yes, I have tender places.” To expose those places to someone else is its own kind of bravery and strength.
Strength doesn’t mean cold.
Strong doesn’t mean emotionless.
It also doesn’t mean you never fall apart.
Sometimes strength is the ability to cry when you need to. (I still struggle with letting go.) To speak honestly (without cruelty). To admit when you’re tired. To let yourself rest.(Just do it already!) To let people in. To show empathy, kindness, gentleness, even when the world hasn’t always given those things back to you.
Softness is not the opposite of strength.
So yes, I can be strong. I can carry what I need to carry. And sometimes I can help you carry yours too.
But I’m also soft. I feel everything. I care deeply. I break sometimes and rebuild again. And I’m figuring out how to stop apologizing for that.
Strength may keep me standing, but softness is what keeps my heart open. And somewhere between the two, I will find the version of myself I actually want to be.
thecountessspeaks 