How do you practice self-care?

Tags

happiness, health, life, love, mental health, self-care, Truth, writing

That really depends on what you mean by self-care? Do you mean pampering? If so, then I don’t really do anything. If you mean mental wellness, I do a few different things:

1. Therapy – I don’t know how long I’ll be able to afford this, but for now, I’m showing up and doing the work. Honestly, it’s been good for me. It feels like one of the most intentional forms of self-care I’ve ever done. Maybe that’s why I consider it a splurge, because it’s not just money; it’s time, energy, and emotional investment. But it’s worth it. I leave most sessions feeling stronger, clearer, or at least a little more understood. That’s not nothing.
2. My Sporting Events – These are my outside hours. Sunshine, movement, laughter with friends. It’s the kind of physical activity that doesn’t feel like exercise because I’m actually enjoying myself. I get to play, compete a little, and have a reason to be out in the world. That said, I know I need to supplement it with some regular exercise outside the games too. I’m working on it. Baby steps.
3. Fiber Crafts – Knitting, crocheting, whatever the project. It’s my quiet-time creativity. It calms my nervous system in a way not many things can. I don’t always get to pick up my yarn and needles/hooks as often during the chaos of summer sports season, but the projects are there, waiting for me like old friends. I’ve got a few lined up, and even just knowing they’re in progress feels good.
4. Reading – You’ve probably heard me say this a dozen times by now, but reading is my most reliable escape. I read a little bit every day, and sometimes a lot more than that. Books have always been a way for me to disappear and recharge. I love getting pulled into a story. I don’t always realize how much I need that quiet escape until I’ve turned the last page and feel just a little more okay again.

How do you waste the most time every day?

Tags

balance, escape, habits, happiness, life, mental health, reading, Reddit, rest, scrolling, TikTok, time, Truth, writing

If you count it as a waste of time (and I really don’t), then reading is probably my biggest culprit. I can easily get lost in a book for hours, just one more chapter, just one more page, just until I find out what happens next. Suddenly it’s dark outside (or the sun is rising) and I’ve ignored all my responsibilities. Oopsie.

But if we’re talking about actual time-wasters, the mindless stuff, then I’m like most people: social media. All of it. Every app that lets you scroll forever without reaching an end.

And of all those platforms, Reddit and TikTok are probably tied for top billing when it comes to my personal time loss. Reddit sucks me in with stories and rabbit holes I didn’t even know I cared about, and TikTok just… well, if you know, you know. One second you’re watching someone make a cake that looks like a turtle, the next you’re crying over a dog reunion video, and then you’re deep into someone’s conspiracy theory about the moon. It’s a lot.

What’s wild is that I’m usually aware while it’s happening that I’m wasting time. I’ll even say it out loud sometimes “Okay, I need to get off this app” or “Okay, time to get up.” And then I keep doom scrolling.

But hey, I’m trying to not beat myself up about it. We all need an escape sometimes. Whether it’s through a book or a video of a raccoon stealing a bagel, maybe the real “waste” is not allowing ourselves to rest in ways that feel easy, even if they are a little mindless.

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

Tags

authors, Books, fantasy, fiction, happiness, King Arthur, life, magic, reading

I began learning to read when I was around 3 years old. One of my core memories of this time is proving my favorite uncle wrong when he said I couldn’t do it. He handed me his newspaper and I read it out loud to him. Now, don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t read every word but I got more than enough right to prove him wrong.

Having said all that, I have been a voracious reader all my life. You’d seldom find me without a book in my hand. Now that my books are electronic, I have many to choose from all in the palm of my hand.

Now on to my favorite childhood book….it’s actually a series that I fell in love with in the 5th grade.

The Dark Is Rising series by Susan Cooper. These books have so many things all rolled into one. The freedom of childhood in earlier times when the world was a bit less scary. Magic, Arthurian legend, superstitions, and a fun adventurous plot line. It starts with Over Sea, Under Stone and introduces some of the main characters and a few side characters that will reappear later.

These books were written from 1965 to 1977 and I think they are still great. I recently bought them all on audiobook to read them again. If you like a good light book, give them a try, even if they are young adult/children’s books.

The Way I Love You

Tags

belonging, devotion, Healing, home, intimacy, love, safety, surrender, Truth, vulnerability, writing

It’s in the way I breathe softer when you speak
like my lungs remember calm,
like they’ve been waiting for a sound
that feels like home.

It’s not loud, this love.
It doesn’t scream.
It settles in
like warm light across a bed we haven’t shared yet,
but will.

I don’t need to tell you every second
I think my silence might speak louder now.
But if I did say it all,
I’d tell you this:

I love you
in the way I unlearn fear.
In the way I let you see me without armor.
In the way I feel seen, fully,
and don’t flinch.

You are the first place I’ve ever wanted to stay.
Not escape.
Not survive.
Stay.

You make me brave.
You make me real.
You make me mine.

And that,
somehow,
is all because
I am yours.

Dreams

Tags

anxiety, Dreams, emotions, Healing, introspection, life, love, mental health, nightmares, overthinking, Reflection, sleep, subconscious, Truth, writing

Why do dreams have the power to wreck your day?

Your mind is like, “Yeah, you’re supposed to be resting and recharging. Let’s give you some crazy stuff to imagine as you try.” Thanks, brain. Super helpful.

Maybe it was the supper I cooked just reacting badly. Maybe it was therapy talking about things I don’t usually speak on. Maybe my brain is overwhelmed and needed to go a little wild. Either way, last night was just so ugh. Three separate dreams, each one somehow more unsettling than the last, and they all blurred together into one foggy emotional mess. I woke up already feeling behind, already anxious, already tired.

And the worst part? I can’t even fully explain why. It’s like my subconscious put together a greatest hits album of every insecurity, fear, and unresolved emotion, and hit shuffle. None of it made full sense (it seldom does) but the feelings linger.

What is it about dreams that can cling so tightly?

I read somewhere that dreams are our brain’s way of working through the stuff we’re avoiding during the day. If that’s true, then maybe I’ve got some stuff to unpack. Or maybe my brain just likes to torture me sometimes. Who knows.

But here’s the thing: dreams can tell us a lot. Not necessarily in the woo-woo way of “interpret the symbol and you’ll find your destiny,” but more like… they shine a light on what’s taking up space in the dark corners of our minds. The things we don’t say out loud. The worries we laugh off during the day. The heartbreaks we think we’ve moved on from.

I’ve had dreams that made me cry when I woke up. Dreams that made me question everything. Dreams that brought up old feelings I thought were long buried. And every time, it throws off my whole day, until I sit with it long enough to realize: maybe there’s something in me asking to be seen.

So yeah. Last night’s dreams? They sucked. But maybe they’re pointing to something I need to give a little more attention to. Or maybe I just need to cut back on spicy food before bed. Either way, I’m going to take it easy today and try to reset. One dream doesn’t get to steal the whole day.

That kind of day

Tags

blog, Catharsis, emotion, escape, friendship, happiness, Healing, Hope, life, loneliness, longing, love, lyrics, MatchboxTwenty, mental health, music, pain, playlist, Reflection, relief, resilience, sadness, vulnerability, writing

I got some bad news this morning. Mentally, some day are worse than others. I know everyone goes through this at some level. When I have days like this I often turn to music. So today’s post will be song lyrics. Each paragraph is one song, most are from the same artist. They are my go-to emotional relief band. This may turn long, but I hope you stick around. I love to share music with people.

“Every word you never said echoes down your empty hallway. Maybe someday. For all you know, this could be the difference between what you need and what you want to be”

“If I fall along the way, pick me up and dust me off. If I get too tired to make it, be my breath so I can walk. When my smile gets old and faded, wait around I’ll smile again” “Keep bending me until I’m completely broken” “I’m so scared that I’ll never get put back together”

“I’m going to set things right again and I won’t let them go wrong.” “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be. You’re the only one who really sees, you get me”

“I wish the real world would just stop hassling me.” “If I were someone else, would this all fall apart” “Please don’t change, Please don’t break when the only thing that seems to work at all is you”

“I’m sorry about the attitude I need to give when I’m with you, but no one else will take this s**t from me”. “I’m so terrified of no one else but me, and I’m here all the time. I won’t go away. It’s me, yeah I can’t get myself to go away” “Reach down your hand your pocket, pull out some hope for me. It’s been a long day, always”

“Everyone here hates everyone here for doing just like they do”. “I could say so much, but I don’t go there cuz I don’t want to.” “I was thinking if you were lonely, maybe we could leave here and no one would know. At least not to the point where we would think so”. “If you see me out, you don’t know me. Try to turn your head. Try and give me some room, to figure out just what I’m going to do” “I don’t know how to get it back to good.”

Unwell – Matchbox Twenty (I could quote the whole song, it’s so good) “All day, staring at the ceiling making friends with shadows on my wall” “Hold on, feelin’ like I’m headed for a breakdown, and I don’t know why” “I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell. I know right now you can’t tell, just stay a while and maybe then you’ll see a different side of me”

“There’s a rhythm to her heart and a world inside her head.” “She’s like a constellation of stars that don’t connect.” “Then she smiles at you the way that people smile when they’re trying not to cry”

“She said, I don’t know if I’ve ever been good enough. I’m a little bit rusty and I think my head is caving in.” “I don’t know if I’ve ever been really loved by a hand that’s touched me and I feel like something’s gonna give. And I’m a little bit angry”. “

“I don’t think that I could take another empty moment. I don’t think that I could fake another hollow smile”. “Just like me, you’ve got needs, and they’re only a whisper away” “I don’t wanna be somewhere where I just don’t belong”. “Tried to be more than me and I gave until it all went away” “Don’t go weak on me please. I know that it’s weak but god help me I need this”

“You know I, I adore you. I can’t let you go.” “You’re part of my soul…I can’t let you go” “If love were a whisper, what could I give you to speak”

“Say goodbye, these days are gone. We can’t keep holding on, when all we need is some relief through these hard times”

“We always say, it would be good to go away someday.”

Mad Season – Matchbox 20 (another song with too many good lines). “I feel stupid, but I know it won’t last for long. I’ve been guessing and I could have been guessing wrong.” “You don’t know me now, I kinda thought you should somehow”. “I’ve been changing. I think it’s funny how no one knows” “I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on”

“You think I’m weak, I think you’re wrong”. “I think we should try. I think I could need this in my life.”

“Feeling my hands start shaking, hearing your voice I’m overjoyed. I’m sorry but I have no choice, you’re only getting better”

I could go on and on. These were all from one band and there are many more of their songs that I truly love. I really hope you read them all. Like I said, I love sharing music with people. Thanks!!